On Delivering Flowers

The car itself is built to protect us inside, as are our pet carriers that go inside, a styrofoam sleeve for a melon, and so forth. As for the flowers, their cut stems sit in a cool bath and have been arranged in an effort to convey a feeling, expected to stay where they’ve been placed. If a florist’s car kit is any indication, you just have to be prepared for what might happen.

First though, a play-by-play for the CultCurious — The Cult has a deliberate process for the floral orders we’re entrusted to fulfill. At the end of the day, one might say, ‘but it’s only flowers!’ But that’s the usual saying for the uninitiated.

First, in the morning, the notes are written at the dry desk. The names are calligraphed and are not touched again while the ink dries. You do wonder whether this is the closest you’ll get to being a medium, transcribing someone’s feelings to someone else exactly how they’re written, trying to remove the spirit in you in the process so as not to plug up the transmission channels. This is stuff we’ve done for so long when we stop to think about it. How many other acts of retail involve handwriting a letter? Anyway, if you think too hard about what’s being transmitted, your strokes will become hesitant, the transmission stilted. You approach it then the best a Vulcan would.

We added a new question to our checkout, and that’s what music we should play when we put the florals together. We’re so excited about this one. Whatever we read, we find on YouTube and have going while we prep the vase and build what looks like a bird nest made of wire to help the arrangement design keep its shape.

The song is part of the process, but the Cult composition usually begins with the line flowers to create the arrangement’s shape, followed by placing the focal flower. Then it’s building up the base with solid workhorse flowers such as the fluffy carnation, steadfast rose, the button pom, followed by the most enjoyable part: creating the delicate dance that is placing the gestural flowers. Our favorites lately include various varieties of ranunculi, orlaya, fritillaria meleagris (even better to imagine Larry David enunciating every syllable over & over), and tulips. The hardest part is keeping an eye on the negative space to ensure the composition remains light and clean.

Then we come to the packing. We thought up a plan that involves wire baskets and bungee cords that so far have been working great. If you ever need to transport flowers and don’t have either of these on hand, though, grab a box and an exacto knife and cut an X the exact size of the vase. Water will slosh, so throw a towel under it, and a tarp under that. You don’t want to wind up with a mildewy car.

Use a hands-free method to navigate to the address because your eyes will be going from the road to the flowers and back to the road countless times already. But there’s another very important step once you arrive. Hold the vase to the side of you, not directly in front of you. Take a moment to steady yourself and look out at the path ahead of you and the terrain. Are there steps? Is it gravel? Make your body loose as a noodle and for God’s sake, take your time.

Why this last step: Valentine’s Day was hectic and exciting for the Cult. In my naive zest to bring Valentine’s their arrangements, I overlooked a half-step on a Valentine’s porch and went over holding the precious vase in my hand the whole way down. It is okay; there are worse things to happen. A fresh vase with new flowers was delivered in a few hours’ time. That was important! Lots of lessons learned.

It also led to the experience of getting a CT Scan in case there was a concussion, a first for someone who didn’t really pick up a sport once in life besides a brief stint in volleyball. No one tells you how beautiful the CT machine is. It’s a space-agey whirling marvel, a gleaming donut hole, and what goes inside is you on a bed. It is the most beautiful [and expensive] machine I’ve ever laid in.

This is fitting for a machine you rely on to tell you the things you’re afraid to know. All things that have the potential for finality often are beautiful. It turns out the worst of my injuries were two deeply skinned knees, thankfully. Seton Ascension is also a funny name for a hospital. We put my year as 7984, and I briefly wondered if we would have the same flowers in that year. Seventy-nine eighty-four. What a year to be born in….